if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
another moral hangover. fuck.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
