Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
