Will you blow on my dice?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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