So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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