I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
