yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She's the barista slut.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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