Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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