Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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