the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
