I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
