Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
