she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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