Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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