i jhust puked up my retainher.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i think my cat just said my name.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize