You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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