Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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