Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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