so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
