I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
