Sponge bath it is.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
