I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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