oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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