I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
