I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
