Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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