a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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