The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
