I look better un-naked...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
