As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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