Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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