i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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