I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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