I think im going to throw up on grandma
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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