I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
