Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize