Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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