omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
