I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
