My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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