you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
