Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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