hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
