Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
