You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize