Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
