I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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