doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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