Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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