Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
