I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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