i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
