my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
