yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
