one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's blow job season.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
