Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just googled if crying burns calories
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
