You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
