you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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