Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
