bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
