You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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